Passion for Music

Sunday, April 24, 2011

I am damn unhappy right now.......
Everything I do is wrong....
Everything I do is unfair....
I know everything in life is unfair....
So what do you want me to do?
This is just volcano erupting....
Everything he achieve, you supported....
But what I do, do you even give a damn?
Just think for yourself....
Even the recent grand event....
I went to collect bursary in an award ceremony.....
Did you even go and support?
All you say you are busy with work...
Think of why out of the sudden I am so enraged.

Nian Ying
fell in love with music @ Sunday, April 24, 2011

Friday, March 4, 2011

I am Stupid and useless,
Everybody hates me,
I tell lies,
It's all because of you,
Give all the attention to HIM and not me,
Everything I do,
I am wrong,
Whatever he do is right,
What if I die first,
Or what if you need to save both of us in a very difficult situation,
You will still save your son right?
So nonetheless to say,
You are bias,
What makes me the way I am now?
Because you shower him with love, more than what you give me,
Whatever he doesn't know,
You ran to him and help him,
He get all the help,
ut I don't,
I am also your daughter you know,
Everything I do is to attract your attention,
Can't I?
The reason being I am jealous,
Since hero is gone,
I try to be good,
Trying to kick my habits of being lazy,
There is no harm on volunteering,
And you say I am busybodying,
You ask me to mind my own business other then doing other things,
To tell you,
Work is work,
Volunteering is Volunteering,
Both are two different things,
You can't get happiness from work,
Although you are paid,
But you still need to get scolded,
Volunteering is different,
By volunteering,
I am happier,
Cause I know how to give and take,

By the way,
Since when I saw him volunteering,
I could tell you none,
Volunteering is what school taught me,
Not you,
To tell you the truth,
I gain a lot from volunteering then your scolding,
All because I am dumb can?

Everytime,
When I does something right,
You scold me,
If I did it wrong,
I don't really mind,
Anything missing,
You find fault at me,
Why not think of me,
All because of your scolding,
I look down on myself,

Since hero is gone,
I was never happy,
My appearance might be,
But I have never put it down,
You never knows,
I treat hero as going for a holiday,
He will still eventually come back to us,
I am deceiving myself,

Just this morning,
I was ironing my clothes,
There is a twitch in the circuit,
It is me that I am wrong?
No right,
And the blame is on me again,
When I go out,
I did not tell you?
I took the initiative to do it okay?
Or do you want me to go back to the past?
Just go out all I want,
You ask me to run away from home that day,
Why bother to ask your son to call me?
Or rather,
Why bother to call me,
Since you ask me to do it,
I will do it,
Think that I wouldn't do it,
I will show you one day,

I cry because you bully me?
Nah,
I am thinking of hero,
I missed him,
Because every time,
He will try to shield from your scolding,
Or rather he chose not to scold,
You did try to shied me from that chair incident,

The only time you care for me is that time,
When I broke my hand,
Since when I am more independant,
You gave the undivided love to him,
Whenever he does something good,
You reward him,
But did you do that to me,
Seldom,
Because I am academic stupid,
You said I did not help him,
But you did not see it,
I tried to help him,
But he shove me away,

If you know this will happen,
Why bother to give birth to me?
Or just dump me into the bin instead,
Since you never love me,
Or whatever I say you don't believe,
Fine,
I will let you see it one day,
I succed because of my anger and I want to show it to hero,
And not because of you,

Nian Ying
fell in love with music @ Friday, March 04, 2011

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Spending both my Christmas in a very different way,
My beloved hero had gone,
Gone forever,
But he will always be in my heart always,
From the time I step on to this world,
He guided me along with his smile,
Just on the 20th,
He left this world,
He raise me up,
To tackle up all the difficulties that i will encounter in life,
He raise me up,
So I can stand on mountain,
He raise me up to walk on stormy sea,
Although he is no longer in this world,
He will be always in my family heart,
I just can't bear to leave him,
As he is my role model in life,
The moral he taught me,
Lead me to a better life,
The way he raise me up,
Lead me had a better education,
But why must he suffer in pain,
He was a good dad,
A hardworking and a dedicated man,
A faithful husband,
A caring father,
I just can't bear to leave him,
But everyone goes through life and death,
But why must death fall upon him when he is just 46 yrs old,
His age had not even hit half of the century,
Why can't he live for a few more years,
Just to see me married and bear children,
Why can't he stay to see me succeed in my education,
Just I don't understand why god have to take such a wonderful man away from me,
Just why he can't see me step into adulthood to pay my respect to him,
Why????
Why must I spend my Christmas this way,
Why can't I spend this very last Christmas with him,
Or rather to celebrate New Year,
But when I see him taking his very last breath,
My hearts hurts,
To see a hero die in front of me,
Why must a hero die in silent,
When he shouldn't be,
Hero dies in honor,
But why he can't stand up to fight,
But having a sight of it,
I just can't bear to leave him,

I think I should stop here,
Oh ya, Merry X'mas Everyone.

Nian Ying
fell in love with music @ Saturday, December 25, 2010

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

It's 2.17am in the morning now and I can't sleep,
Despite having classes and project to be handed up tomorrow,
I just can't go to bed,
I am just worried for that someone,
Who is not just an ordinary father,
But someone who always do a lot more in my life,
As mention on my previous post,
He is none other then my dad,
A hero to me,
Although he does not speak much,
He still concern us a lot,
Needless to say with his current condition,
Everyone have a different way of caring,
But most will be spoil by their own parents,
Leading them to go astray,
Once in my life,
I used to picked up the wrong route,
But with the help of others,
Things turns around,
But he is one of them that does not give up on me,
However support me more then onlookers do,
To them, I am just a child in their eyes,
But within self,
You know that you had grown up day by day,
Knowing about what had to be done,
With my hero guiding me to the correct path,
Or rather to say,
He had paved the route for me,
To make me go to the correct path,
He showed me that true kinship and love can't be both by cash,
But shower with plenty of love and concern,
So what if you spend all the money you had,
But you cannot had your health back to the "safety" level,
There's no use,
However money could be earned back,
It just that life will be tough,
Life is just like a rocky mountain,
There will be obstacles that you need to overcome,
However, half a year had gone,
I still could not let go,
He is someone that is precious to me,
Even though I can't bear the pain he is having,
But every time,
Without fail, my mom will be on his side to take care of him,
But in my eyes to see my hero suffers,
And my mom to comfort him,
It's make my heartaches,

Today hero just came back from hospital,
And he had just gone back there,
Seeing all there discomfort,
I cannot bare to go to sleep,
Sleeping will not solve any problem,
But just escaping,
Although by escaping,
It's a good way to forget the problem,
But the best way is still,
Accepting it and care for it,

It's running late now,

Going to reach 3 am,
I better go back to bed now.

Nian Ying
fell in love with music @ Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Hi all,
It has been a long time when I last blog,
Well thing isn't as successful as I thought,
On Thursday, I just have a fight with someone,
Is joking about one's stupidity an offence,
I see him staring blank and wanted to do something to make him laugh,
However he turned and scold me back,
I know it my fault but ya,
Can't you just turn and ask me to stop it,
Must you be so petty,
Please you are a guy,
And to tell you ya,
Your attitude sucks,
To say frankly,
Do you think that everyone like your "Busybody" attitude,
Most of us are just "friendly" that we did not shove you away,
But do you think I like it,
And do you know that you are just as irritating as my ex,
Please,
I know that you are cheerful,
But can you please think about the people around you,
And more of you doing this will turn into an anti-social object in class,
It my warning,
And oh ya,
Thursday during Entrepreneurship you just left without telling us,
Despite seeing us busy,
Can't you just tell us,
Don't you know that you are a free loader in the whole team,
Since you did not tell me about it,
I assume to kick you out without your acknowledgement,
But can't you see,
I am trying to be nice,
YOU DUMB ASS!
Opps!
The person mention above you know who yourself,
And sorry if I offend you or anything,
I just don't wanna say it in front as we are in a quarrel,
But seriously,
Get a life,
Can't you just be like Thinesh,
Accept it and keep quiet,
You are no fun ya,

Let divert this whole scenario to a new topic,

I mention about things didn't go well isn't it,
Oh ya,
I should just.....
Let the cat of of the bag,
My dad isn't feeling well now days,
I know his days are numbered,
But I am not trying to show my tears in-front of him,
Can I succeed,
I have no idea,
But there's some of the burdens that I must carry,
My dad health,
Financial needs,
Studies,
I can't hope to financial part as I want to complete on studies first before going out to work,
As I can't work with my dad health has worsen,
Well I can't reveal what my dad has gotten as there is some nose parker out there,
Well these are quite heavy and both of my shoulder can't take it,
Maybe I should just accept it and go on with life,
It's just fate that stuck on my family,
Well we will take on this toughness together as a family,
No matter what happen,
I hope that I will walk together with my dad till his last day of his life,
And no matter what his is my hero,
A hero that see me grown up,
Hold me up when I am falling,
A pillar that support me,
But however,
How I which that I could help him to lessen his pain,
Seeing him feeling unwell,
Just make my heartache,
But I wish all these suffering will stop,
Speaking of which,
There's another heroine in my life,
She's my mother,
And yes,
She did the same thing as my dad,
But no matter what,
I don't hate them,
All the caning and scoldings that they do,
Just make me more mature and sensible,
To say that,
No matter how sick they are,
I am willing to take care of them,
They really nurture me to a more sensible teen that compare to the others,
No saying that a lot of them are no sensible,
But all because of working parents,
They lack of family care,
Even though,
Both of my parents use to work,
That cause me to turn bad,
And what I did is just to get attention,
Telling you that I am lack of your love,
But however,
I will love you all no matter how bad you treat me,
Maybe that is just a heart of empathy that you guys taught me,
Learning to put others before self,

That all about my two heroes,
And well I don't have much to blog now,
Just want my two heroes to read at this and understand what is in my heart,
~~Byes

Nian Ying
fell in love with music @ Saturday, November 27, 2010

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I am feeling sick,
Is my health deteriorating?
To speak frankly,
I am not sure,

Today got back to class,
Saw a lot of people crowding at Mdm Lai,
Thinking of some things that will happen,
New problems created?
Or maybe it just class test result,
Conclusion,
It was just class test result,
And what i could say is there is no turning back,
I could have done better,
Was quite shock when they say I get the top,
But I was really blur then,
Reason being,
I was feeling unwell,
I was thinking of Jun Hao or whoever might done it better then me,
Wasn't expected the outcome,

Few weeks ago,
Wanted to go back to the hospital for a checkup,
While waiting for mom,
I went on and collect my YOG uniform,
Arrived late at the clinic and it's close,
Need to wait till 3rd of August,
Recently,
Abdomental pain kills me,
Thus lead me to a state that I felt like vomiting,
Why should I get the torture now,
To stay better when I am dead,
Life should be relaxing,
Nevermind,
It's late anyway,
Should go to bed now.
Good Night all

Nian Ying
fell in love with music @ Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Friday, July 2, 2010

Looking back at my secondary school photos,
I wish that I could go back in time to change a lot of things,
It could be the best if time could roll back to the days I enjoy life,
It could be the best if I was just a baby,
I could just eat and sleep for my whole infant life,
If I cry,
My parents will just come and comfort me,
But now when I cry,
No one ever cares,
Most likely felt irritated,
But what can I do,
There was time,
I felt really helpless,
Had you ever try to suffer the pain and just keep others from knowing,
I do,
But there is just times that you could not help it,
But end up regretting what you had done,
There is a lot of things that I had regret,
Breaking my arm,
Not studying hard enough since young,
Not going to Secondary five,
And a lot more,
It could be the best if time could roll back and let me stop the suffering,
It's not the matter if I could or couldn't take the pain,
But the matter is sometimes,
Things really need to change,
Regret that I broke my hand,
In the weather like now,
Hand hurts,
Regret for not studying hard enough,
I have to suffer more now,
Regret for not going to Secondary 5,
Have to duel with the class now,
They might see that I am must difference when school reopens,
There is a lot of things I have regret,
But there isn't any help for regretting the choice you had make,
But instead,
Live life to the fullest,
Half a year seems to fly fast,
But what had I done,
Deteriorating my health,
And what else,
Do you ever think that what I want,
I could not resist it,
Anything that it wants to happen just happens,
And till now,
Any other want to help me,
Hell no,
Nobody understands the condition that I am under,
Nobody want to care about me,
Nobody want to help me,
Nobody want to listen that what I want to say,
And can you believe that Singapore is a democracy country,
Which have freedom of speech,
When someone does not want to listen,
No,
Do you think when others does not want to listen,
They want to help you,
Thing really makes a difference when someone lend a helping hand,
And yet I can't find one.
Maybe it's just fate.

Nian Ying
fell in love with music @ Friday, July 02, 2010

About Me

I am: Nian Ying
Age: 16
My Birthday:10th September 1993
I'm from: Singapore
~~Sembawang Secondary~~
MacPherson ITE
Mobile Unified Communication
I like: Science/Chocolate
I DON'T like:

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P.S. If you dun hate me or just want to spam,just spam,Go ahead,I dun entertain spammers,Because my blog is without spammer,Just wanting to kept my blog alive.

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March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 September 2009 October 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 November 2010 December 2010 March 2011 April 2011

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